WHF
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't get my license plate number!
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying: "Guns don't kill people. I do!
Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A: Always wear a condom.
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your Car.
Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Being too drunk to find your keys.
Q: What problem would you face if arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd lose my buzz.
Q: How would it change your life if you had your license suspended or revoked?
A: I'd have to drive illegally.
Q: What is the most important thing to remember when passing or being passed?
A: If the driver is cute, make eye contact and wave "hello".
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
-----------------
1. Before changing lanes you should:
(A) signal.
(B) check.
(C) both a & b.
(D) just swing into the lane without doing either a or b.
2. The top light on a traffic signal is:
(A) red.
(B) yellow.
(C) green.
(D) Who cares, it doesn't apply to me anyway.
3. The speed limit in a residential area is:
(A) 35 MPH.
(B) 25 MPH.
(C) 45 MPH.
(D) I paid $65,000 for this car, I'll drive as fast as I want.
4. In California, when a pedestrian enters a cross walk, you should:
(A) slow to a walking pace.
(B) go around the block.
(C) stop.
(D) speed up and honk your horn.
5. In the other 49 states, when a pedestrian enters a cross walk, you should:
(A) maintain your speed.
(B) slow a little.
(C) slow a lot.
(D) speed up and don't bother honking your horn.
6. Your may make a left turn from the right lane:
(A) never.
(B) when there is a left turn arrow.
(C) on Sunday at 2 A.M.
(D) When ever you darn well feel like it.
7. When a school bus has flashing red lights, you:
(A) must stop.
(B) may pass on the left after checking.
(C) may pass after slowing to 5 MPH.
(D) use your car phone to order chinese food while passing on the left.
8. When you hear an emergency vehicle siren, you should:
(A) pull to the right and stop.
(B) pull into the nearest car wash.
(C) roll down your windows.
(D) turn up the radio and ignore it.
9. You may make a U-turn in front of a fire station:
(A) never.
(B) when the doors are closed.
(C) if there are no police around.
(D) when you have missed your turn.
10. When approaching a traffic light where cars are stopped, you should:
(A) relax.
(B) watch the signal.
(C) stop a safe distance back from the car in front.
(D) call your wife/secretary on your car phone so everyone can see that you have a car phone.
11. When turning onto a side street, you should signal:
(A) two blocks before turning.
(B) two car lengths before turning.
(C) two miles before turning.
(D) what for, if the guy behind me hits me, I'll sue him.
12. A U-turn in a business district is legal:
(A) only at an intersection.
(B) always.
(C) never.
(D) if I pass a sale at the jewelers.
13. Parking in a red-zone is permitted:
(A) never.
(B) on Sunday.
(C) if there is a fire hydrant.
(D) when I'll only be there for five minutes.
14. What is your annual gross income:
(A) $10,000-20,000.
(B) $20,000-40,000.
(C) $40,000-80,000.
(D) $80,000 and up.
Scoring: If you answered 'd' on every question, you have a perfect score. You are certified to drive a Mercedes Benz/BMW Automobile. You may, at your discretion, proceed to your nearest Mercedes Benz or BMW authorized distributor and select the Mercedes Benz or BMW Automobile of your choice. If you answered a, b, or c on two or fewer questions, you may request a retest in two weeks time. Please study the Mercedes Benz or BMW motor vehicle guide in preparation for your retest. If you answered a, b, or c on more than two questions, we're sorry, you just don't have the proper attitude to be a Mercedes Benz or BMW Automobile driver. Perhaps you should consider a good car. Thank you for your interest in Mercedes Benz and BMW Automobiles.
A: What for? He can't get my license plate number!
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying: "Guns don't kill people. I do!
Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A: Always wear a condom.
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your Car.
Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Being too drunk to find your keys.
Q: What problem would you face if arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd lose my buzz.
Q: How would it change your life if you had your license suspended or revoked?
A: I'd have to drive illegally.
Q: What is the most important thing to remember when passing or being passed?
A: If the driver is cute, make eye contact and wave "hello".
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
-----------------
1. Before changing lanes you should:
(A) signal.
(B) check.
(C) both a & b.
(D) just swing into the lane without doing either a or b.
2. The top light on a traffic signal is:
(A) red.
(B) yellow.
(C) green.
(D) Who cares, it doesn't apply to me anyway.
3. The speed limit in a residential area is:
(A) 35 MPH.
(B) 25 MPH.
(C) 45 MPH.
(D) I paid $65,000 for this car, I'll drive as fast as I want.
4. In California, when a pedestrian enters a cross walk, you should:
(A) slow to a walking pace.
(B) go around the block.
(C) stop.
(D) speed up and honk your horn.
5. In the other 49 states, when a pedestrian enters a cross walk, you should:
(A) maintain your speed.
(B) slow a little.
(C) slow a lot.
(D) speed up and don't bother honking your horn.
6. Your may make a left turn from the right lane:
(A) never.
(B) when there is a left turn arrow.
(C) on Sunday at 2 A.M.
(D) When ever you darn well feel like it.
7. When a school bus has flashing red lights, you:
(A) must stop.
(B) may pass on the left after checking.
(C) may pass after slowing to 5 MPH.
(D) use your car phone to order chinese food while passing on the left.
8. When you hear an emergency vehicle siren, you should:
(A) pull to the right and stop.
(B) pull into the nearest car wash.
(C) roll down your windows.
(D) turn up the radio and ignore it.
9. You may make a U-turn in front of a fire station:
(A) never.
(B) when the doors are closed.
(C) if there are no police around.
(D) when you have missed your turn.
10. When approaching a traffic light where cars are stopped, you should:
(A) relax.
(B) watch the signal.
(C) stop a safe distance back from the car in front.
(D) call your wife/secretary on your car phone so everyone can see that you have a car phone.
11. When turning onto a side street, you should signal:
(A) two blocks before turning.
(B) two car lengths before turning.
(C) two miles before turning.
(D) what for, if the guy behind me hits me, I'll sue him.
12. A U-turn in a business district is legal:
(A) only at an intersection.
(B) always.
(C) never.
(D) if I pass a sale at the jewelers.
13. Parking in a red-zone is permitted:
(A) never.
(B) on Sunday.
(C) if there is a fire hydrant.
(D) when I'll only be there for five minutes.
14. What is your annual gross income:
(A) $10,000-20,000.
(B) $20,000-40,000.
(C) $40,000-80,000.
(D) $80,000 and up.
Scoring: If you answered 'd' on every question, you have a perfect score. You are certified to drive a Mercedes Benz/BMW Automobile. You may, at your discretion, proceed to your nearest Mercedes Benz or BMW authorized distributor and select the Mercedes Benz or BMW Automobile of your choice. If you answered a, b, or c on two or fewer questions, you may request a retest in two weeks time. Please study the Mercedes Benz or BMW motor vehicle guide in preparation for your retest. If you answered a, b, or c on more than two questions, we're sorry, you just don't have the proper attitude to be a Mercedes Benz or BMW Automobile driver. Perhaps you should consider a good car. Thank you for your interest in Mercedes Benz and BMW Automobiles.
posted by Crystal Xue Yan @ 9:13:00 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home